Writing Prompt.

Warnings for my Future Husband:

-       I become very obsessed with very specific things. Do not oppose them, or you will ignite a monster in me that might end our relationship.

-       There will be days when I am excitable for no apparent reason. Don’t ask me why, there really is no reason. Go with it, and keep up. I did not wed a Debbie.

-       If you are messy, get out. My mind is messy enough, I don’t need my house to be too.

-       Mentally prepare yourself for an impromptu dance party at any and all times.

-       I cannot cook. However, I am an excellent sue-chef. If you can direct me in a kitchen, we can make grand meals together, and I am not afraid to pig out. Which brings me to my next warning – eat fast.

-       Showers are incomplete without blaring music. You’re not invited to the club – it is reserved for me and my cool shower dance moves. See you in 45 minutes…maybe an hour if I’m feelin’ frisky.

-       Date nights are cute, let’s do them weekly.

-       Often, you will do something that has me so smitten kitten, but will have no idea why. This is normal – I will find your tiny beauties whether you know they exist or not.

-       At some point in our marriage, I may try to put mascara on you while you’re sleeping. Please don’t be alarmed, it’s just a fantasy of mine.

-       Sometimes I take therapeutic drives to clear my head. Hopefully gas prices drop by this time, but it might be something to factor into our budget.

-       I like to spontaneously revert to being a 5 year old by coloring, watching cartoons, or pretending to be a flailing monkey. Join me, why don’t you?

-       I fell in love with your eyeballs, so don’t you dare taint them with colored contacts.

-       I can’t write, choreograph, or do anything creative in front of you. So don’t hover, or offer to help – if you see me in the zone, leave me there alone. Also, please think it’s really cool when I spit out a rhyme like that.

-       I will make you stay up obscenely late with me, probably to do some quality bonding, and then expect you to let me fall asleep first. C’mon, it’s cute of you to watch me sleep. Oh and P.S. I drool. 

-       There will be a point very early in our relationship where I will render “hair-care” useless.  This is a good thing – you will be pleasantly surprised when my legs are smooth. Win-win-whaddup.

-       I am calling infinite dibs on little spoon.

My dearest, after reading this, you might be a little scared. But seriously, if we’re married, you’re probably frickin crazy too. So, we’re cool right?