Flash Forward

I walked past the Quad today and saw men constructing a stage. After a brief moment of confusion, my gut plummeted: Graduation.

I pictured the Commencement day that I would miss. All of our friends like an army - in uniforms that matched each other, but didn't match the images we have of them in our minds. The rest of us on the periphery - looking around wondering when it will happen to us, trying not to trip in their hand-me-down shoes that are too big for us to fill.

I pictured the hugs and the tears, and the half-hearted words of consolation. No, it won't be the same. We won't be able to lie around watching Bridesmaids while we paint our nails in the midday sun instead of going to class. There will be no more nights where "I'm just gonna stay in .... actually #YOLO LET'S DRINK." Gone are the days that we spend midnight hours on the library roof talking about life, instead of actually going inside and trying to plan it.

I then pictured myself with the diploma, in a year's time, failing miserably to kiss these things goodbye with even a tinge of grace. The anticipation of the void didn't help with ways to fill it. My hands were still shaky, my heart still nervous, and my mind poked through with, Are you sure you're ready?


I don't think anything will properly prepare me for what my friends must go through in two weeks time. So as I picture these things, I quickly hit the delete button. I change the focus to taking millions of snapshots everyday, so that when that times come and suddenly I am looking back, I won't have missed a thing.